i feel so depresssed.
My life have been sucky.
I feel that god is trying to send me a message.
That happiness in life is only temporary.
And only now when i get my menses then i cant pray
then i realised what an idiot ive been.
Now that i think about it, i may have looks.
I have the heart.I think i have the inner beauty.
Im really nice.But im not perfect though.
Im fat,my hair is a mess, im smart
but barely there.All i have is god.
Even if i speak as though im religious
but my actions doesnt entirely show it.
I always have the mentality that if im not the best
then it doesnt mean anything.
THis is the main pain that it HITTING me right now.
Like for example; "im pretty
but there are girls much more prettier than me
so my "pretty" doesnt mean anything.
Same with my brains, i may be smart,
but there are SMART-er people out there.
I feel that my life sux,
but i cant commit suicide cuz
i do WANNA Live just i wish my life would get better.
I dont wanna complain.
Im REALLY REALLY REALLY GRATEFUL FROM THE BOTTOM
OF MY HEART TOWARDS ALL THE FAITHFUL
AND GOOD FRIENDS I HAVE.REALLY.
BECUASE THE ARE MY FRIENDS FOR WHO I AM,
WHETHER IM FAT,UGLY or just plain stupid.
I feel that im too nice that people tend to take advantage of me.
But i cant help it.I DONT take revenge.I dont h8 people ,
i just dislike them despite what i say.
I can be funnny at times but i am also SERIOUS.
Its like i wanna do everything, be everything.
I WANNA BE PERFECT but theres a saying that
there is nothing living in this world that is perfect (except Nabi Muhammad s.a.w).
And those who are almost at perfect's finishing line
will fall head first just before reaching it.
I dont know what to do anymore.
I cant pray to calm my spirit down.
I guess ill use this time to re-think what i wanan do in life.
And my priorities.I know the first would be god.
Cuz if not for god, i wouldve been dead or who knows.
IM really grateful god kept me alive.
Even in this situation which i think is torturous,
i feel it is god's way of saying
that he loves me.Its a blessing in disguise as how my dad says it.
Gotta think the postives.Gotta think the positives : D
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