O-level results...
After a good sleep, the rabid tears managed to stop and i am feeling better enough to blog about my results.. To tell you the truth, there is nothing to boast about.
I have always dreamt of logging onto facebook after receiving my olevel results and write on my wall... " Olevel results = : D " but i guess i cant do that now.
I know some people might find my results good enough..im sorry if my sadness and disappointment might offend you, but please understand, the place where i am aiming for is a whole other dimension.. To me, this kind of result seems like..sigh* i don't have the heart to say it.
Anyways..i'll just show it
English B4 ( i should just die )
Malay B3 (good enough..)
E-math A2 (i deserve to slap myself)
A-math A2 (at least its better than a B3)
Combined Humans A2 (i have no right to even comment aboout this)
Chemistry A2 (yay? or aww?)
Biology B3 (im sorry mrs ng, i couldn't give you that A1)
Physics B3 (ms tan..sorry for disappointing you..im so embarassed)
L1R5 = 15 L1R4 = 12
I cant face my teachers at all.
i can't face my friends.
I can't face my relatives at all.
i feel like a failure and a coward.
I TRIED i REALLY TRIED to be optimistic about it,but it REALLY HURTS...i can't tell you how much it hurts. First, my pride on my passionate contributions to my CCAs were destroyed when i wasn't given A SINGLE RECOGNITION AT ALL. not a single one at all..then now.. my pride on my subject and the passion and hardwork i have put into it were crushed as well. I feel like i have been stripped off everything..
I have troubled those close to me when i was bawling and sobbing over my results.
Im sorry leanne and raga..im sure i made it VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU.
I am sorry raga, i didnt have the courage to congratulate you instantly..
I was on the verge of tears and i didnt want to give you unsincere congratulations.
Im sorry Mum and Dad for making you all worried.
I am sorry to all my teachers, for not doing well even if its mY OWN high expectations.
I feel really pathetic. BUt i am going to
JJ for sure. However, i have an unlikely chance of getting my 4H2 subject combination that i always dreamt of. I don't even qualify for the Scholarship Development Programme that i wanted to enroll in. I most probably have to take a H1 contrasting subject / history. So much for getting ALL EXCITED ABOUT STUDYING ECONOMICS. I really wanted to study economics..i really wanted to. I was really interested in that subject....
I felt like my heart has been stabbed and ripped apart countless times..
Tears won't stop running...
Im trying my best to look at the bright side of things..
I hope God, time and faith will strengthen my motivation...
TO END THIS HEARTFELT POST...
I DO NOT DESERVE THIS RESULTS...
I WILL PROVE YOU ALL THAT I DESERVE BETTER...
JUST WAIT.
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