It has never crossed my mind...
I was on my way home with raga...
and she suddenly brought a topic about
him in our conversation.
it was kinda odd, because I haven't thought of him for quite some time now.
Worse still, it was something difficult to deal with.
It was surprising enough that raga remembered such a thing, however it was more surprising that I'd still be rattled by it again.
I had never thought I'd look back.
But for today, I did.
It has been like, 6-7 months now since I had forced myself to forget everything about him.
I didn't think it was fair.
To like someone who I barely know.
Someone who probably does not know who i really am.
Someone whom I have not met in like 3 years.
Someone who is clearly beyond my league.
So i decided to forget.
I am a person who believe in fate.
If we are really meant to be together, then maybe it the future, we'll meet again.
That's what I believe.
before that,I guess I was to afraid to let go because I did not want him to completely be gone from my life.
Somehow or rather, he had changed part of my life even if he didnt intended or thought to.
FOr that, I am grateful.
So, today, when I took a glimpse of a blog to see how he was doing.
I found out he was hospitalised for knee surgery and his picture was posted there. ( don't ask why)
God... my heart sank and i actually felt it.
It was too surreal.
I was worried.
I was concern.
I wanted to do something.
Fortunately, later on...there were happy pictures. ( yes..happy pictures : ) )
And you can guess what kind of occassion would be described as happy especially during this point of time.. Hari Raya..
Ugh..he still makes me smile..
I hate it =_=
I don't like it...
Its not fair!!!
I thought i had control over my emotions D: <
Still, somewhere deep inside I was kind of..
invigorated? happy? relieved?
to see his face once again.
How pathetic of me =_=
But yet i wonder why?
Why must it be a person like him?
Not saying that its not good..
but it doesn't make sense..
its not possible..
Haha..maybe im just...
.... stressed. : )
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